Many people have an unwritten belief that success leads to happiness. This opinion is absolutely differs from the psychologists’ research proving that happiness helps us to become successful. Many questionnaires and researches show that the person in a good mood can do many things leading to his own success:

1. Feel healthier. The psychologist after many experiments say that people in a good mood are less given too pain. They prolong their lives in such a way.
2. Talk to other people. The people in a good mood talk to other with pleasure. He is always ready to help or just communicate. So many problems can be solved.
3. Practice different activities. Happy people like sports and active vacations.
4. Help others. If you feel yourself happy you are always ready to help someone, to make him happier too.
5. Be more creative. The ideas of people in a positive mood are as a rule more creative and flexible. They work in a team more effectively and solve the problems easily.
6. Resolve conflicts. People in a good mood didn’t interpret the conflicts as too complicated situation. They can find the way out without any problems.
7. Attribute success to their own skills. Good moods improve people’s self-efficacy.

Analyzing all these items you see that happy people implement their good features. Their skills are more evident for others. So being in good mood is a guarantee of success.
But how we can become happier if we have some problems and don’t feel so? It’s simple! First convict yourself that happiness will lead you to success. Believe in it and it will for sure. The second step is lifestyle and atmosphere where you live. Make your room more positive, open the windows often. Make your surroundings happier. Practice sports or other activities, create the hobby and share you interests with other people. After it you’ll feel better and happier that will help you to each success.

“What Dreams May Come” stars Robin Williams and shows the soul’s experience after death. Chris Nielson, his children Ian and Marie die in the automobile accident. Some time later Chris finds himself in a heaven. This is a beautiful place full of flowers and blue water. He was a good and kind person so now he is here and will be happy for ever. To his great surprise Chris finds his children and dog here too. But life can’t be full and happy without one person…his wife. Chris loves her more than life and doesn’t know what to do to show her he still feels everything. His wife Annie that time suffers from loss. She is painter and tries to connect with her husband through pictures. She feels him; she knows he is still near. Annie can’t stand the pain and commits suicide. She goes to hell. And it seems the loving people will never meet. But Chris is game for anything to find his wife. He lives the heaven for hell…If you want to know the end of this touching story download “What Dreams May Come” movie.

“What Dreams May Come” reflects people’s psychology and feelings. Debuting in 1998 it won Oscar for the best visual effects and got another 4 awards. This is an amazing story telling us that “After life there is more. The end is just the beginning.”

Shrink Raps

This page will highlight frequently asked questions on a particular subject, it will change quite often, so stop by now and then.

STRESS FAQ’s

Q: What is stress?

A: Stress is the body’s natural response to demands. It is usually felt as an urgency or tension. Three common types of stress are:

1. ordinary: waking up, getting to work
2. developmental: learning new things, taking on new challenges
3. unique: illness, family changes

Q: Is it always bad?

A: Stress can take the form of extra momentum and actually improve your performance at work or at home. Stress often signals the release of hormones — adrenaline and hydrocortisone — that tap your hidden energy reserves. “Positive stress” feels exciting and helps you meet your challenges.

Q: What is negative stress?

A: Stress is most commonly perceived as negative, and thus is called “distress”. Positive stress becomes negative when a challenge become long term. “Negative stress” drains your energy when dealing with job-related problems, financial woes, or the death of a loved one.

Q: What causes stress?

A: Many circumstances at home, at work, or in the environment can cause stress. Stress often stems from facing too much responsibility or information; dealing with too many changes; and being overloaded emotionally. The more stresses within a short time, the greater the effect.

Q: What are the symptoms?

A: Physical: tightened muscles, rising blood pressure, grinding teeth, clenched jaws, sleeplessness, clammy hands, perspiration, upset stomach, fatigue. Emotional: anxiety, nervousness, agitation, irritability, depressions, restlessness, nightmares, confusion and drug abuse.

Q: Can stress make me sick?

A: Your response to stress can make you sick. a majority of diseases are either related to or worsened by stress. Stress can increase blood cholesterol and stomach acid. It is also linked to ulcers, colitis, high blood pressure, strokes, heart problems, migraine headaches, asthma, and skin disorders.

Q: How can I mange stress?

A: To manage stress, start a “stress audit”:

1. Keep a journal to record your stresses.
2. Identify problems.
3. List all possible ways to overcome them.
4. Choose your solutions.
5. Later, evaluate what worked and what can be improved
6. If stress overwhelms you, seek help from a professional.

Table of Contents

1. What is stress ?
2. Is it always bad ?
3. What is negative stress ?
4. What causes stress ?
5. What are the symptoms ?
6. Can stress make me sick ?
7. How can I manage stress ?

What is stress ?

Stress is the body’s natural response to demands. It is usually felt as an urgency or tension. Three common types of stress are:

1. ordinary: waking up, getting to work
2. developmental: learning new things, taking on new challenges
3. unique: illness, family changes

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Is it always bad ?

Stress can take the form of extra momentum and actually improve your performance at work or at home. Stress often signals the release of hormones — adrenaline and hydrocortisone — that tap your hidden energy reserves. “Positive stress” feels exciting and helps you meet your challenges.
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What is negative stress ?

Stress is most commonly perceived as negative, and thus is called “distress”. Positive stress becomes negative when a challenge become long term. “Negative stress” drains your energy when dealing with job-related problems, financial woes, or the death of a loved one.
Back to Top

What causes stress ?

Many circumstances at home, at work, or in the environment can cause stress. Stress often stems from facing too much responsibility or information; dealing with too many changes; and being overloaded emotionally. The more stresses within a short time, the greater the effect.
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What are the symptoms ?

Physical: tightened muscles, rising blood pressure, grinding teeth, clenched jaws, sleeplessness, clammy hands, perspiration, upset stomach, fatigue. Emotional: anxiety, nervousness, agitation, irritability, depressions, restlessness, nightmares, confusion and drug abuse.
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Can stress make me sick ?

Your response to stress can make you sick. a majority of diseases are either related to or worsened by stress. Stress can increase blood cholesterol and stomach acid. It is also linked to ulcers, colitis, high blood pressure, strokes, heart problems, migraine headaches, asthma, and skin disorders.
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How can I manage stress?

To manage stress, start a “stress audit”:

1. Keep a journal to record your stresses.
2. Identify problems.
3. List all possible ways to overcome them.
4. Choose your solutions.
5. Later, evaluate what worked and what can be improved
6. If stress overwhelms you, seek help from a professional.

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For many people, drinking alcohol is nothing more than a pleasant way to relax. However, people with alcohol use disorders drink to excess, endangering both themselves and others. This question-and-answer fact sheet explains alcohol problems and how psychologists can help people recover.

• When does drinking become a problem?
• What causes alcohol-related disorders?
• How do alcohol-use disorders affect people?
• When should someone seek help?
• How can a psychologist help?

When does drinking become a problem?

For most adults, moderate alcohol use—no more than two drinks a day for men and one for women and older people—is relatively harmless. (A “drink” means 1.5 ounces of spirits, 5 ounces of wine, or 12 ounces of beer, all of which contain 0.5 ounces of alcohol.) Moderate use, however, lies at one end of a range that moves through alcohol abuse to alcohol dependence:

Alcohol abuse is a drinking pattern that results in significant and recurrent adverse consequences. Alcohol abusers may fail to fulfill major school, work or family obligations. They may have drinking-related legal problems, such as repeated arrests for driving while intoxicated. They may have relationship problems related to their drinking.

People with alcoholism—technically known as alcohol dependence—have lost reliable control of their alcohol use. It doesn’t matter what kind of alcohol someone drinks or even how much: alcohol-dependent people are often unable to stop drinking once they start. Alcohol dependence is characterized by tolerance (the need to drink more to achieve the same “high”) and withdrawal symptoms if drinking is suddenly stopped. Withdrawal symptoms may include nausea, sweating, restlessness, irritability, tremors, hallucinations, and convulsions.

Although severe alcohol problems get the most public attention, even mild to moderate problems cause substantial damage to individuals, their families, and the community.

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), 1 in 13 American adults is an alcohol abuser or alcoholic at any given time. A 1997 government survey revealed that drinking problems are also common among younger Americans. For example, almost 5 million youths aged 12 to 20 engage in binge drinking, which involves females consuming at least four drinks on a single occasion and males at least five.

What causes alcohol-related disorders?

Problem drinking has multiple causes, with genetic, physiological, psychological and social factors all playing a role. Not every individual is equally affected by each cause. For some alcohol abusers, psychological traits such as impulsiveness, low self-esteem, and a need for approval prompt inappropriate drinking. Some individuals drink to cope with or “medicate” emotional problems. Social and environmental factors such as peer pressure and the easy availability of alcohol can play key roles. Poverty and physical or sexual abuse increase the odds of developing alcohol dependence.

Genetic factors make some people especially vulnerable to alcohol dependence. Contrary to myth, being able to “hold your liquor” means you’re probably more at risk—not less—for alcohol problems. Yet a family history of alcohol problems doesn’t mean that children of those with alcohol problems will automatically grow up to have these problems—nor does the absence of family drinking problems necessarily protect children from developing these problems.

Once people begin drinking excessively, the problem can perpetuate itself. Heavy drinking can cause physiological changes that make more drinking the only way to avoid discomfort. Individuals with alcohol dependence may drink partly to reduce or avoid withdrawal symptoms.

How do alcohol-use disorders affect people?

While some research suggests that small amounts of alcohol may have beneficial cardiovascular effects, there is widespread agreement that heavier drinking can lead to health problems. In fact, 100,000 Americans die from alcohol-related causes each year. Short-term effects include memory loss, hangovers, and blackouts. Long-term problems associated with heavy drinking include stomach ailments, heart problems, cancer, brain damage, serious memory loss, and liver cirrhosis. Heavy drinkers also markedly increase their chances of dying from automobile accidents, homicide, and suicide. Although men are much more likely than women to develop alcoholism, women’s health suffers more, even at lower levels of consumption.

Drinking problems also have a very negative impact on mental health. Alcohol abuse and alcoholism can worsen existing conditions such as depression or induce new problems such as serious memory loss, depression, or anxiety.

Alcohol problems don’t just hurt the drinker. According to NIAAA, more than half of Americans have at least one close relative with a drinking problem. Spouses and children of heavy drinkers are more likely to face family violence; children are more likely to suffer physical and sexual abuse and neglect and to develop psychological problems. Women who drink during pregnancy run a serious risk of damaging their fetuses. Relatives and friends can be killed or injured in alcohol-related accidents and assaults.

When should someone seek help?

Individuals often hide their drinking or deny they have a problem. How can you tell if you or someone you know is in trouble? Signs of a possible problem include having friends or relatives express concern, being annoyed when people criticize your drinking, feeling guilty about your drinking and thinking that you should cut down but finding yourself unable to do so, and/or needing a morning drink to steady your nerves or relieve a hangover.

Some people with drinking problems work hard to resolve them, and often, with the support of family members and/or friends, these individuals are able to recover on their own. However, those with alcohol dependence usually can’t stop drinking through willpower alone. Many need outside help. They may need medically supervised detoxification to avoid potentially life-threatening withdrawal symptoms such as seizures. Once people are stabilized, they may need help resolving psychological issues associated with problem drinking.

There are several approaches available for treating alcohol problems. No one approach is best for all individuals.

How can a Mental Health Professional help?

Mental Health Professionals who are trained and experienced in treating alcohol problems can be helpful in many ways. Before the drinker seeks assistance, a psychologist can guide the family or others in helping to increase the drinker’s motivation to change.

A Mental Health Professional can begin with the drinker by assessing the types and degrees of problems the drinker has experienced. The results of the assessment can offer initial guidance to the drinker about what treatment to seek and help motivate the problem drinker to get treatment. Individuals with drinking problems definitely improve their chances of recovery by seeking help early.

Using one or more of several types of psychological therapies, a Mental Health Professional can help people address psychological issues involved in their problem drinking. A number of these therapies, including cognitive-behavioral coping skills treatment and motivational enhancement therapy, were developed by psychologists. Additional therapies include 12-Step facilitation approaches that assist those with drinking problems in using self-help programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). All three of these therapies—cognitive-behavioral coping skills treatment, motivational enhancement therapy, and 12-Step facilitation approaches—have demonstrated their effectiveness through well-designed, large-scale treatment trials. These therapies can help people boost their motivation to stop drinking, identify circumstances that trigger drinking, learn new methods to cope with high-risk drinking situations, and develop social support systems within their own communities.

Many individuals with alcohol problems suffer from other mental health conditions, such as severe anxiety and depression, at the same time. Psychologists can be very helpful for diagnosing and treating these “co-occurring” psychological conditions when they begin to create impairment. Further, a drinker in treatment may receive services from many health professionals, and a psychologist may play an important role in coordinating these services.

Mental Health professionals can also provide marital, family, and group therapies, which often are helpful for repairing interpersonal relationships and for long-term success in resolving problem drinking. Family relationships influence drinking behavior, and these relationships often change during an individual’s recovery. The Mental Health professional can help the drinker and significant others navigate these complex transitions, help families understand problem drinking and learn how to support family members in recovery, and refer family members to self-help groups such as Al-Anon and Alateen.

Because a person may experience one or more relapses and return to problem drinking, it can be crucial to have an appropriate health professional such as a trusted psychologist with whom that person can discuss and learn from these events. If the drinker is unable to resolve alcohol problems fully, a psychologist can help with reducing alcohol use and minimizing problems.

Mental Health professionals can also provide referrals to self-help groups. Even after formal treatment ends, many people seek additional support through continued involvement in such groups.

Alcohol-related disorders severely impair functioning and health. But the prospects for successful long-term problem resolution are good for people who seek help from appropriate sources. Psychologists are applying the substantial knowledge they have to help people resolve alcohol problems, and they are working to make treatment services available wherever needed.

Table of Contents

1. What happens to people after a disaster or other traumatic event ?
2. How do people respond differently over time ?
3. How should I help myself and my family ?
4. How do I take care of children’s special needs ?
5. When should I seek professional help ?
6. Resource links ?

What happens… ?

Shock and denial are typical responses to disaster and other kinds of trauma, especially shortly after the event. Both shock and denial are normal protective reactions.
Shock is a sudden and often intense disturbance of your emotional state that may leave you feeling stunned or dazed. Denial involves your not acknowledging that something very stressful has happened, or not experiencing fully the intensity of the event. You may temporarily numb or disconnect from life.
As the initial shock subsides, reactions vary from person to person. The following, however, are normal responses to a traumatic event:

• Feelings become intense and sometimes are unpredictable. You may become more irritable than usual, and your moods may change back and forth dramatically. You might be especially anxious or nervous, or even become depressed.
• Thoughts and behavior patterns are affected by the trauma. You might have repeated and vivid memories of the event. These flashbacks may occur for no apparent reason and may lead to physical reactions such as rapid heart beat or sweating.
  You may find it difficult to concentrate or make decisions, or become more easily confused. Sleep and eating patterns also may be disrupted.
• Recurring emotional reactions are common. Anniversaries of the event, such as one month or one year, as well as reminders such as aftershocks from earthquakes or the sounds of sirens, can trigger upsetting memories of the traumatic experience. These “triggers” may be accompanied by fears that the stressful event will be repeated.
• Interpersonal relationships often become strained. Greater conflict such as more frequent arguments with family members and coworkers, is common. On the other hand, you might become withdrawn and isolated and avoid yo0ur usual activities.
• Physical symptoms may accompany the extreme stress. For example, headaches, nausea and chest pain may result and may require medical attention. Pre-existing medical conditions may worsen due to the stress.

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How do people respond over time ?

It is important for you to realize that there is not one “standard” pattern of reaction to the extreme stress of traumatic experiences. Some people respond immediately, while others have delayed reactions – sometimes months or even years later. Some have adverse effects for long periods of time, while others recover rather quickly.
And reactions can change over time. Some who have suffered from trauma are energized initially by the event to help them with the challenge of coping, only to later become discouraged or depressed.

A number of factors tend to affect the length of time required for recovery, including:

• the degree of intensity and loss. Events that last longer and pose a greater threat, and where loss of life or substantial loss of property is involved, often take longer to resolve.
• a person’s general ability to cope with emotionally challenging situations. Individuals who have handled other difficult, stressful circumstances may well find it easier to cope with the trauma.
• other stressful events preceding the traumatic experience. Individuals faced with other emotionally challenging situations, such as serious health problems or family-related difficulties, may have more intense reactions to the new stressful event and need more time to recover.

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How should I… ?

There are a number of steps you can take to help restore emotional well being and a senses of control following a disaster or other traumatic experience, including the following:

• Give yourself time to heal. Anticipate that this will be a difficult time in your life. allow yourself to mourn the losses you have experienced. Try to be patient with changed in your emotional state.
• Ask for support from people who care about you and who will listen and empathize with your situation. But keep in mind that your typical support system may be weakened if those who are close to you also have experienced or witnessed the trauma.
  Communicate your experience in whatever ways feel comfortable to you – such as by talking with family or close friends, or keeping a journal.
• Find out about local support groups that often are available such as for those who have suffered from natural disasters, or for women who are victims of rape. these can be especially helpful for people with limited personal support systems.
  Try to find groups led by appropriately trained and experienced professionals. Group discussion can help people realize that other individuals in the same circumstances often have similar reactions and emotions.
• Engage in healthy behaviors to enhance your ability to cope with excessive stress. Eat well-balanced meals and get plenty of rest. If you experience ongoing difficulties with sleep, you may be able to find some relief through relaxation techniques. Avoid alcohol or drugs.
• Establish or reestablish routines such as eating meals at regular times and following an exercise program. Take some time off the demands of daily life by pursuing hobbies or other enjoyable activities.
• Avoid major life decisions such as switching careers or jobs if possible because these activities tend to be highly stressful.
• Become knowledgeable about what to expect as a result of trauma. Some of the “Additional Resources” listed may help you with this learning process.

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How do I take care of children’s special needs ?

The intense anxiety and fear that often follow a disaster or other traumatic event can be especially troubling for children. Some may regress and demonstrate younger behaviors such as thumb sucking or bed wetting. Children may be more prone to nightmares and fear of sleeping alone. Performance in school may suffer. Other changes in behavior patterns may include throwing tantrums more frequently, or withdrawing and becoming more solitary.
There are several things parents and others who care for children can do to help alleviate the emotional consequences of trauma, including the following:

• Spend more time with children and let then be more dependent on you during the months following the trauma – for example, allow your child to cling to you more often than usual. Physical affection is very comforting to children who have experienced trauma.
• Provide play experiences to help relieve tension. Younger children in particular may find it easier to share their ideas and feelings about the event through non-verbal activities such as drawing.
• Encourage older children to speak with you, and with one another about their thoughts and feelings. This helps reduce their confusion and anxiety related to the trauma. Respond to questions in terms they can comprehend. Reassure them repeatedly that you care about them and that you understand their fears and concerns.
• Keep regular schedules for activities such as eating, playing and going to bed to help restore a sense of security and normalcy.

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When should I seek professional help ?

Some people are able to cope effectively with the emotional and physical demands brought about by a natural disaster or other traumatic experience by using their own support systems. It is not unusual, however, to find that serious problems persist and continue to interfere with daily living. For example, some may feel overwhelming nervousness or lingering sadness that adversely affects job performance and interpersonal relationships.

Individuals with prolonged reactions that disrupt their daily functioning should consult with a trained and experienced mental health professional. Appropriately trained mental health providers help educate people about normal responses to extreme stress. These professionals work with individuals affected by trauma to help them find constructive ways of dealing with the emotional impact.

With children, continual and aggressive emotional outbursts, serious problems at school, preoccupation with the traumatic event, continued and extreme withdrawal, and other signs of intense anxiety or emotional difficulties all point to the need for professional assistance. A qualified mental health professional can help such children and their parents understand and deal with thoughts, feelings and behaviors that result from trauma.
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Resources

Local chapters of the American Red Cross may be able to direct you to additional resources. Check your local telephone directory for the chapter nearest you.

• National Association of Victims Assistance
  1757 Park Road, N.W. Washington D.C. 20010
  Toll-free: 1.800.TRY-NOVA; in D.C. metropolitan area: 202.232.6682
• “After Disaster: Steps You Can Take to Cope With a Stressful Situation”,
  L.A. County Dept of Mental Health
  http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~dvb/dissteps.htm
• “Coping With Emotions After a Disaster”,
  University of Illinois Cooperative Extension Service
  http://www.ag.uiuc.edu/~disaster/emotion.htm
• “Helping Children Cope”
  http://www.apa.org/kids.html